Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize