M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize