did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
These tits shall not be calmed
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize