She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
