He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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