I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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