fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
