I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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