Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
