every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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