it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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