Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
