Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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