Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
