im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
