i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
