We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
