I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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