so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
