i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
