the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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