Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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