Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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