hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
