party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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