pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
