Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize