what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
