Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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