dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
