Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize