oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
