The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
