Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
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