Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
