a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
