My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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