would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
