he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
