So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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