then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
