Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
