Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
