I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My dick has a subreddit
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
