yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize