It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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