dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
