He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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