Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
