It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Less talking, more tequila
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
