Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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