I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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