I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
