Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
