I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
