D3 body, D1 cock
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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