sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
