I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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