you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
