What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
