12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize