Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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