She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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