Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
