Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Drake has all the answers
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize